Category Archives: adoption

Adopting Amo: Countering or Counting On Culture

Noah and Amo – cousins who absolutely adore each other.

With this post I divert from Amo’s story to answer some questions from one of my readers. Big thanks to Katy Roberts who addressed some important issues – issues I have been mulling over for a while now. While I have formed some conclusions, I feel like they are not quite mature. So give me a bit of grace here, I am happy to discuss and debate in the comments. Here is Katy’s comment from a few months back:
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Adopting Amo – Part 8: Unexpected Heartache

Amo accessorising at lunch

Before I get into the story, I should explain something. During the parenting training we were told a bit about how government views family situations. If the biological parents of a child are willing to make an effort in rectifying their circumstances in order to get a child back, government will favour reconciliation with the biological family over placing the child in foster care or adoption. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 7: Meet Amo

Those lips… With her soon-to-be Dian-Nana. December 2009

On October 24, 2009, we volunteered at the home for the first time. It was a Saturday morning and we were excited but nervous. As usual, Liezl was more eager than apprehensive while I was the opposite. Ultimately, I think we evened each other out and we were able to deal with visit appropriately. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 6: Train the Parents in the Way They Should Go…

With Uncle Don, playing with stacking thingies. Day out at Monte – December 2009.

As I mentioned in my last post, there was now a process to be followed. Being fairly ignorant of adoption processes in general, we were quite surprised by some of these things. We appreciate them now and believe they are necessary but it was weird at first. Read on and tell me what you think. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Poll: Do you think…

In my articles so far, I have raised the question of cross-cultural adoption and how I’ve felt about it. Now I’d like to hear what you have to say. Be honest and submit your answer below. It’s completely anonymous so no-one, including me, will know what you’ve said. If you have more to say, you are most welcome to share your thoughts below the poll.

Prev: Adopting Amo – Part 5: We’re Keen, but Pick ‘n Pay is All Out of Orphans

Next: Adopting Amo – Part 6: Train the Parents in the Way they Should Go…

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Adopting Amo – Part 5: We’re Keen, but Pick ‘n Pay is All Out of Orphans

One of our outings was to the Monte Bird Show. She was obviously amazed.

Having made a commitment to adopt, it was time to get the ball rolling. I must be honest and say that my involvement at this stage was mostly an advisory one – Liezl was the one doing the real investigation. She would do all the hard work and discuss the options and implications with me. It proved to be a frustrating task for her. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 4: Counting the Cost

Christmas Day 2009 - 14 months old. This little fairy dress barely fits her dollies now, let alone her.

In my last post, I gave you an idea of the choice one has when adopting a child. Questions of gender, age and race, as well as others, have to be considered when walking this road. When you realise the weight of these choices, you need to take an honest look at what you think you are and are not able to handle. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 3: Not Everything is Black and White

Day out from the home at Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens. Mmmm, yoghurt.

If you’re sharp, you’ll have realised by now that we said yes to adoption. As with any decision, once it is made you actually have to start doing something about it. It was no good sitting on the couch, waiting for the stork to bring us a child. It was time to act. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 2: Adopting the Right Stance

Amo's first Christmas with us. Had to take her back at the end of the day 😦

In the game of Cricket, when you learn to bat, one of the first things you are taught is to adopt the correct stance. This stance combines posture and positioning to give you the best chance of handling whatever a bowler could throw at you. Looking back I realise that what you will read below was a similar process. Dealing with the questions and coming to conclusions was teaching me the correct stance. Answering these questions gave me the best chance of handling whatever the adoption process and subsequent parenting could throw at me. Continue reading

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Adopting Amo – Part 1: How We Got to Where We Were

First day out with us from the home - early December 2009 (Amo was 14 months old)

Adoption has been on our hearts for a long time. We were reminded by our close friends, Marcus & Adele, that we had even spoken about adoption during pre-marital counseling. Liezl and I got married in 2004 and our rough plan was to wait a couple of years before trying to make babies. Adoption was effectively forgotten for those first few years of marriage. Continue reading

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