Adoption has been on our hearts for a long time. We were reminded by our close friends, Marcus & Adele, that we had even spoken about adoption during pre-marital counseling. Liezl and I got married in 2004 and our rough plan was to wait a couple of years before trying to make babies. Adoption was effectively forgotten for those first few years of marriage.
Towards the end of 2006 we began trying to fall pregnant. By the end of 2008 we had still not conceived. Doctors say the average, healthy couple should try to conceive for about 18 months before getting things checked. It had been a little longer than that so we had some checks and tests done. We found out that Liezl and I both had issues that made it difficult, but not impossible to fall pregnant. In those early days we hadn’t lost hope but our lack of success reminded us of the option to adopt.
In early 2009 Liezl got the whole ball rolling with one simple question: “Maybe we should look into adoption?” While I thought of adoption as a beautiful and noble thing, I don’t think I was quite ready to accept defeat. Retrospectively I know better but in those days, considering adoption was admitting failure. It was quite a process coming to a place where I felt comfortable with adoption for us – but I’ll talk about that a bit more in the next post.
So Liezl’s question got me thinking. At first I came up with more questions than answers. Is this what God wants? Is this what I want? What if this is just a reaction to not falling pregnant? Adoption is difficult on a number of levels, will we manage to get through all that? What if the baby we want has AIDS? So there we were climbing Decision Hill. I think my load was heavier because it was much easier for Liezl to get to the top.
I’m sure you’ll agree that these are tough questions. How would you answer these? I’m curious to know, you’re welcome to comment your thoughts and/or answers at the bottom of the page. Part 2 coming shortly.